So many upheavals, tragedies, and insane things have been happening these last few weeks and months, I can hardly gather my thoughts for a post.

So I decided I would just list some of the things I never thought would happen in such rapid succession. Maybe your comments can help add meaning to a confused world.

• January 2 – Political Unrest in Tunisia
• January 8 – Arizona Shooting Kills 6 and Injures 20, Including U.S. Rep. Gabrielle Giffords
• January 14 – Tunisia Ousts Ben Ali
• January 23 – Political Unrest in Yemen
• January 25 – Massive Demonstration in Egypt Calls for Mubarak to Step Down
• January 25 – “Day of Rage” in Lebanon Against Hezbollah
• January 28 – Political Unrest in Jordan
• February 11 – Egypt Ousts Mubarak after 30 Year-Rule
• February 12 – Political Unrest in Algeria
• February 14 – More Deadly Protests in Iran, Bahrain and Yemen
• February 16 – Political Unrest in Libya
• February 21 – Demonstrations in Morocco Against Corruption
• February 25 – Violence in Iraq, Egypt, Jordan, and Yemen
• February 27 – Government Crackdowns lead to Civil War in Libya
• March 11 – Political Unrest in Saudi Arabia
• March 11 – Japan 8.9-Magnitude Earthquake and Tsunami, 12,000 Dead
• March 12 – Terrorists Murder 5 Sleeping Family Members in Itamar, Israel
• March 14 – Radiation Leaks from Japan’s Damaged Nuclear Plants
• March 15 – Political Unrest in Gaza and the West Bank
• March 19 – Political Unrest in Syria
• March 19 – American-Led Military Assault on Libya to Oust Qaddafi
• March 23 – Terrorist Bus Bombing in Jerusalem Kills 1, Injures 39
• March 29 – Facebook Page Calling for Third Intifada is Taken Down. It had 350,000 Likes.
• April 2 – Deadly Protests in Afghanistan after a U.S. Church Torches the Quran
• April 5 – War in Libya Continues
• April 6 – What will happen tomorrow?

While women have climbed quite high on the social ladder, not a single woman in our times has followed Queen Esther as

“The Jewish Queen.”

So, on Purim day, we undertook a worldwide search to find the closest thing we have to a Jewish Queen today. Here are our candidates:

• Chelsea Clinton Mezvinsky – Serious yichus, and married a “nice Jewish boy”
• Ivanka Trump – an Orthodox heiress with a designer shoe line
• Bar Rafaeli – Leonardo DiCaprio’s Israeli supermodel
• Gwyneth Paltrow – the Celebrity daughter of a rabbinic dynasty
• Natalie Portman – the Black Swan and Pride of Israel
• Madonna – She’s not Jewish, but loves Kabbalah
• Queen Rania of Jordan – Ok, she’s not Jewish either, but her next-door-neighbor is Israel

And that’s it! Oy vey, Achashveirosh wouldn’t have too many choices, now would he?

Happy Purim from NewsyJewsy!!

10. You’re filled with dread at the thought of designing for yet another annual dinner.
9. You search for “jewish” in all the stock photo sites.
8. You spend most of davening trying to figure out why the bima is 46 pixels off-center.
7. You can’t stand that Yiddish-looking English font from the Lower East Side.
6. Come summer, and you’re still wondering if your client spelled “Chanukah” right.
5. Your clients have to get back to you tomorrow because they need to talk to their Israel office.
4. You’re grossed out by the Jewish Press.
3. On Fridays you add “good shabbos” to your emails.
2. It’s really weird, but your clients all know each other.

And the number one way you know you’re a Jewish graphic designer….

1. Your shul has already asked you for free work. And um, you’ve said yes.

Are you a designer? Anything to add?